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Friday, February 15, 2013

Crazy Love

Okay so A little insight to the name of the blog....

When I landed on Kazakh soil in 2007 I knew that my life would never be the same. Little did I know that God was forming some kind of Crazy Love in my heart, nor did I know how much it would change my life. You see growing up I NEVER one time thought about adoption. To me adoption meant nothing. I knew nobody that had been adopted, I knew nobody that had adopted a child and if they had they sure didn't talk about it. I didn't have any bad thoughts about adoption but it wasn't a life long dream of mine to adopt. Part number 2 that I didn't ever think I would do is travel to third world countries for fun. Yes those of you reading this blog that know me from "the good ole days" ( LOL) Yeah did you ever think I would be a follower of Christ, let alone travel to THIRD WORLD COUNTRIES to love on the least of these?? Let me just answer for them, NO! Seriously. I grew up in suburbia USA, drove a new car at 16, did way to many things my parents told me not to, Dated crazy boys, smoked at 15, Moved to Hawaii after a vacation I took one year, lived in Vegas, waitressed at a bar in Houston, I lived in my own little comfortable world as if the world around me didn't even matter. As long as Stacy was happy, my life was good.

I finally got all of the Gypsy stuff behind me, settled down and got married ( which I NEVER thought would happen either- smile...). Let me just say God was watching over me, even when he wasn't proud of the choices I was making, I know this because I can not count on one hand how many times I made a decision that could end my life ( not purposefully but stupidly). After Brad and I were married we decided we needed something more in our marriage and in our life. We decided to go to church. The rest is history, really. If you have a few more days to sit down and read I could tell you the WHOLLLLLE story but trust me its long and boring ( most parts) and not so full of life changing events until the landing in Kazakhstan thing. Well maybe it started in 2006 when I decided ( notice I say I) that we needed to adopt. My husband, yeah, he was not convinced. (Thank God he loves me because I have complicated up his oh so not complicated life.)

Back to the title. I knew when I met my first Kazakh baby girl that I would never be the same. That was the day that I realized how much my God really loved me. Here I was holding this stranger ( MY BABY) that I did not birth, that did not look like me, that I do not share one ounce of DNA with and I LOVED her like CRAZY,  with every ounce of my heart. I would get in front of a bus for her. I looked at her and I thought this is how my God loves me. I am not his DNA, nor do I look like him, I have even disappointed him my entire life ( almost) but he loves me just like I love this little stranger baby. His love is unconditional to me, as is mine is to my babies. I will tell you the truth, I didn't know if I could love a baby that didn't "look like me" ( I can't believe I said that out loud) but I DO. Amazing how good our God is. He has called me to be the mother of many babies that don't look like me.  ( I don't know if I can convince Brad of that-but I will die trying...smile).
 
Crazy Love day 1
 
When I got home from that trip to Kazakhstan I knew I could not just forget about the Revelation I had there about my Crazy Love nor could I forget about all of the other babies that had nobody to bring them home. My heart was burdened for the least of these. My heart ached, physically ached for the babies I had grown to know over that 8 weeks that would never ever find a home. How could I not ache? How could I forget? Since April 23, 2007 my heart has never been the same. It has not changed in a bad way ( well I will tell you sometimes I WISH that I didn't feel the pain) but in a good way. My eyes were opened and now I can not pretend that I did not see..... I am responsible.

So my journey started.. Two Hearts was born with the help of another God fearing Friend ( that I LOVE dearly) and I have never looked back to the life I used to have where I thought only MY happiness mattered. Some may say I am crazy. ( well maybe more then some). I will admit sometimes I think I am crazy. Good crazy. Is there such a thing?? LOL.

My God fearing Friend



In the past 5 years I have traveled to Kazakhstan 7 times, adopted another daughter ( that makes 4 girls-yes my husband loves me) , traveled to Africa 3 times, adopted an Ethiopian son into my heart ( a 17 year old boy- boy people - seriously God??), sponsored a girl in Ethiopia, hosted 4 girls from various other 3rd world countries, whom have all been adopted,  moved our ministry into Russia and Africa, and I am sure I am forgetting some other crazy things I have  done but the point is that I have a Crazy Love for mission work, adoption and the least of these. My heart was Forever changed in 2007 because I let God be first in my life. So yes I am crazy, please don't judge. I am NOT perfect, please don't judge. I will fall, stumble and make bad choices, please don't judge. Come along for the Crazy ride that I am on. You never know how God could change your life one day if you just say YES.

Trust me, its not easy, the crazy road I am on it not always easy. It never will be. Thats why I need all of you to pray for me, my family and my Crazy Love because it isn't easy.

To keep up the Craziness in our lives I will tell you a secret that I have been keeping.... but shhhh don't post it on FB ( LOL), I am traveling to Ethiopia this summer for 6 weeks. ( yep that's not a typo 6 weeks). I will be working in Korah helping with summer programs. Oh and the crazy part..... ALL 3 of my girls are coming. Ummmm yes, I am crazy. Don't judge... ( smile). Just pray.

I am excited, nervous and downright thinking I am crazy, but God said Go and we said Yes. Isaiah 6:8 says "Then I heard the voice of the Lord saying, "Whom shall I send? And who will go for us?" And I said, "Here am I. Send me!"


My Second Kazakh baby girl


My Sweet Habesha girl

The son of my heart

World Changers

Sweet Kazakh baby with her new momma- Redemption

Oh how I love being his Gigi

                                                           Love sees no color
Because we said yes

 
 
All of these pictures are here because of moments when we said YES.
 
 

Aftermath of Africa

January 20, 2012

I am not sure that I can get thru an entire post about how I feel right without that lump in my throat turning into tears, but here goes nothing.

From the beginning; A little over a year and a half ago a dear friend of mine asked me if I wanted to go to Africa. Why not, I replied? Let's do it. So we signed up never thinking about it again and went about our daily lives for the next 12 months. I have been to Kazakhstan ( 8 times) I have seen some not so great things, I have had my heart ripped out of my chest ( more than once in Kazakhstan), I have had some not so proud moments where I have questioned WHY is this happening to children of the world, but then I always came home never flinching once or thinking twice about my very comfortable life, right here in my safe little world. I needed a reality check but not sure I signed up for what I really got.

I am not a world traveler by any means but I also don't think I am naive to the fact of the world is a sad place with lots of poverty, famine and injustice, but I really had no idea of how MUCH of that was really real?? From the first time I stepped on African soil, I knew I was changed forever ( again) It was very familiar to me ( although I had never been there before), the smells, the thick diesel in the air, the gray half finished buildings, the traffic ( oh the traffic!). I remember driving down the road from the airport thinking " oh this feels like home". I am comfortable there. God made a place in my heart for Ethiopia. For those of you that are going to judge me for focusing on Africa right now I want you to know that Of course Kazakhstan will always be my first love. My babies were born there. I will always have a piece of my heart there, but God says right now Stacy I need you in Ethiopia.

My first day in Korah ( if you click on the Korah you can watch a short video about it- is a village that survives off od the local trash dump) Was well hmmm, how do I say this lightly, HEART WRENCHING. I saw things there that I really really wish I could unsee. Really I am not just saying that. Until that day I thought those save the children commercials were only a ploy to get you to give money. Let me just say, they are not fake. I didn't prepare myself for the poverty that I was going to see but it didn't sadden me ( well a little but not more then I can handle). It inspired me to do more for the beautiful people in Korah. That first trip opened my eyes to a whole new world, outside of adoption, of what I could be doing to help people and children in need. The people are beautiful, inside and out and so very grateful for the very little they do have. I am inspired by them to be better, less selfish, more giving of myself.

One day, on my second trip, I was praying about my "role" in Ethiopia, was it more then just to visit and serve? I asked God to break my heart for what breaks his. Ummmm can I take that back? Yeah I didn't really mean it ( well I guess I did) but right now I feel little like Noah. I am being told to build a boat, but have no idea how to do it and I waiting for detailed instructions. I am clinging to this scripture " Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified, do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go” (Joshua 1:9) AND another favorite right now " He lifts the poor from the dust and the needy from the garbage dump" (Psalms 113:7). I know that God has plans for the people in Korah. I know his love never fails and he is always with them. I know in Samuel 2:8, 9 it says,

He raises the poor from the dust
and lifts the needy from the ash heap;
he seats them with princes
and has them inherit a throne of honor.

“For the foundations of the earth are the Lord’s;
on them he has set the world.
9 He will guard the feet of his faithful servants,
but the wicked will be silenced in the place of darkness.

That being said, no more sad stuff. I am heading back to Korah ( click on the link to read history of Korah) again, for the third time in less then a year. I am heading there again (WITH MY HUSBAND!!) because I have a vision. A vision of how to get more children out of the trash dump. A HUGE vision that needs A LOT of prayers. I am blessed to be traveling with one of my dear friends and fellow Kaz mom Lori, my husband and my pastor! We all have a different agenda in Korah but hopefully all of our missions will bless the others. Contrary to popular belief we are not traveling to adopt another child. ( yet! hahah Just kidding). We have a jam packed schedule this week, all of us. So please be in prayer for all of us as we scout out how to impact the most lives in Korah.

I will update when I can ( if the Internet it working). Chow... See you on the other side.

How Africa changed my life....again

November 28, 2012


As I sit down to try and write this for the 100th time, tears still fill my eyes about my time in Korah. Not bad tears but good tears, joyful tears, heartbreaking tears, the good heart break if that makes sense?
Before I left Missouri, I asked God to please break my heart for what breaks his. Looking back at that, sometimes I wish I could unask that? Not because I don’t want him to do any breaking but because I had no idea how hard this really would be. I have seen a lot in my 9 trips oversees before this one, how much more could he really break? Boy was I wrong.
In August we started sponsoring 2 children from the village of Korah through Project 61.  I knew that I was going to meet them this trip and possibly their families, but God did not prepare me for what my heart was going to feel for them. The first day in Korah,  Frehiwot ( our sponsor girl),  came RUNNING up to me full speed ahead and jumped into my arms, told me she loved me and did not let go for at least 5 minutes. My heart melted. She took my hand and did not let go until lunch was over. She doesn’t know a word of English ( Except I love you) but I could understand everything she was trying to tell me. Her expressions, her soft voice, her smile said it all. She had Hope now, she is getting an education, she gets at least this one meal a day. To her that is everything  and to me it was so much more.
Everyday in Korah I saw her. We played, laughed and prayed together. We sat together, walked together and held hands just because. On Wednesday we visited her home. By home I mean a 5 ft by 5 ft room with a dirt floor and mud walls. Literally all 8 of us could not fit in it even sitting shoulder to shoulder. Her Aunt which whom she lives with was overwhelmed you could tell, probably with the fact that no foreigner had ever visited her home let alone cared about her. We brought her at least a months worth of groceries, probably more like 2 or 3 months worth. It cost us $80 to feed a family of 4 for 2-3 months.  She had tears streaming down her face because she was so grateful. We prayed over her and I asked her if she knew Jesus, she said yes. Mind you I am NOT a person that ever thought I could witness to another and I have to tell you I don’t know what I would have done had she said no, Thank Goodness I didn’t have to find out. After the prayer, She thanked us and kissed us and we were on our way. Frehiwot grabbed my hand and told me thank you ever so quietly and in her sweet Ahmharic at least 50 times. I have to say that day will be forever engrained in my heart forever. Not only do we get to be a part of changing her life but I get to watch it too with my very own eyes.  That is my favorite thing about sponsoring a child through Project 61 is that you are able to build a relationship with these children and their families. You get to be an encouragement, you get to help, you get to love big on them, you get to watch them flourish and grow and have hope and you get to tell them about Jesus.
On Sunday of our trip we got to go to Shashamene where our Sponsor boy is. I was so excited to meet him too but again was not prepared for what God was doing in my heart. We pulled in and I asked some kids about him and they ran to get him. The minute I saw his big brown eyes coming towards me I was instantly in Love.  Never in 1 million years did I think that I would go to Ethiopia one day, meet a 16 boy that is a total stranger and have an instant motherly connection with him. As we walked around and talked about many things, my love for him grew. My heart was saddened by his life story and all of the things he has been through Alone and sad. He told me that he has never had a dad and that his mother died when he was 12 but now he was happy again because he had a new family in us. He told me how everyday he ate sugar packets from the dump, he lived with pigs, he has never had a birthday celebration and I wanted to just hug him and cry.  I knew at that moment that we were much more than just a sponsor family to him. We were his everything, his saving grace and he was our son. He told me at least 100 times that day how grateful he was that we changed his life. What I didn’t know at the time was how much he was going to change my life. He makes me know what grateful really is. He makes me a better mother. He makes me a better follower of God. He makes me smile everyday. In the few, very few, hours I have spent with him, he has captured my heart. I have spent every day praying for God to reveal to me the plan he has for Miyco and the plan he has for us. I know our meeting was not by chance.
I can not explain this love I have for this total stranger. The only way I can say it is it is a God thing, God planned this meeting, God picked him for us to sponsor, God let me meet him in Shashamene that day knowing how I would feel, God will hold him when we can’t. I am sure I sound like I am off my rocker ( Brad thinks I am!) but I know,  I just know that God does not see it that way. He has a plan for him, a plan for us. God already chose him as one of the children that got to go to school and get out of the dump.
He wrote me a letter before I left Shashamene and told me to read John 14:18. “I will not leave you as orphans, I will come to you”. As I read his letter I wept.  My heart ached for him, as if he was my own flesh and blood. I believe and I am praying that Same verse everyday for him. I wish it was as easy as getting on a plane because I would go get him tomorrow but its not.  I am not sure how his story will end or begin for that matter but I know that everyday I am grateful for Project 61, for Sumer Yates who has given her life for these children and For My Ethiopian son. I am praying everyday for God to reveal his big plan and in the mean time trying to think up every scheme in my head on how to get him home to us. In the meantime, we are headed back to Ethiopia in January for 10 days, this time Brad is coming! I am praying that Ethiopia impacts his life as it has mine. I know he will love Korah!  We will also get to spend time with our sponsor children while we are there!! So excited to be a part of this organization that is changing lives in Korah!